Since last month was cat month, I’m guessing this month is dog month…
We’ll start off with a bit of funny – dogs shouldn’t wear pants. Seems obvious to me, but the bedazzling geniuses at Etsy don’t seem to get that. Cheers to whoever start this blog… hats off to you.
When you’re on meth, it’s possible (probable?) that your loved one may leave you, unless they’re into meth too. So… you might end up being awake for hours and hours, all alone.
But don’t fret, because now there’s “the Booty Pillow!”.
That’s right, Booty Pillow is there to provide you with comfort on the loneliest of meth trips. And they have lots to choose from:
Let’s face it Meth Trailer heads… it’s a tough job market.
Maybe that’s why you’re on meth in the first place… or maybe being on meth is why you don’t have a job. Who cares which caused which… that’s like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg. The simple fact is, to get a job, you need to use your assets, and if being on meth is one of those assets, then use it to the best of your ability.
Here is an example of an awesome cover letter which apparently was written by someone on meth. I know that if it was up me, I would hire this guy for the job. Now, I’m not hiring right now… I’m just a guy selling meth out of a trailer, so please don’t actually send me your cover letters, unless it’s this good, in which case, you should write for MT.
So that’ll at least get you into the interview. From there, just exude energy, and cover up your meth lesions on your face, and you’ll land the job.
So, I found this article very interesting… it talks about how some brave souls are able to get pot across the US-Mexico border using a kite looking thing called an “ultralight”.
http://gizmodo.com/5803739/drug-smugglers-flying-high-on-ultralights
Seems one of the complaints is that it only carries 250 lbs of pot. That might not be a lot of pot, but that sure is a lot of meth!!!!
So I did a little research and found that buying one of these kits only costs about $1,000 on eBay on the low end. And the best part is that no license is required… because I know how embarrissing it would be if the sky police pulled me over and I had to tell them I didn’t have a license to fly my kite OR drive my meth trailer (suspended.
Folks, This is an oldie but a goodie for those in the biz. Meth Trailer would be remiss if we didn’t include it here. So – following these visual clues, I think you’ll find that it’s easy to spot a meth lab.
(no dogs were harmed in the making of this meth lab spotting tutorial)
I know all the fancy people in the big cities have all their fashion weeks and such, but what about those of us in the trailers? I heard that the latest thing to do is create a fashion looky here book to see all the best fashions–and I did just that for all our MT readers–your own latest updates on the hottest spring trailer fashion!
Our MT Top 5 looks for spring:
Look #1: denim. Y’all know overalls never go outta style, but Cletus here shows off his own fashion sense by making the most of his body type and creating a style all his own (it’s like he’s that Tim Gunn guy on that fashion show). He made it work. Also good for you pregnant ladies (I’m lookin at you, Wendy Jo).
Look #2: Straw Hats. Fun and fashionable for both men and women, it’s a good way to keep that pesky sun outta yer eyes.
Look #3: Pelts. I know y’all got those leftover possum pelts hanging around, why not get crafty and create a new look to keep you warm in the cool spring mornins.
Look #4 The Flag. There ain’t NOTHIN cuter than a bikini top and jeans–nothin ‘cept for havin the bikini top be a Confederate flag. Notice how the model combines both the flag theme AND a straw hat with the flag theme AND denim–she is just to up to date. And her ripped jeans are super cute–make sure they’re a light wash if yer wearin jeans–it accentuates big hips nicely.
Although she gets it right with the flag theme, her swimsuit covers just a little too much skin for my likin.
Look #5: Mullets. Always popular, the mullet never goes out of style. A universally flattering cut on both men and women.
Women can wear a mullet, too, but it’s important to balance out the short sides with some feminine touches like bow earrings and pink tube tops.
There you have it! Now you’re ready for a methy spring!
Hey MT brides! Some of y’all’s baby daddys may have stepped up and asked you to get hitched proper. If so, y’all know there are all kinds of details y’all need to plan to get yerself a nice venue (VFW hall), flowers (contact local funeral home for leftovers), and grub (I’m sure Wendy Jo has some real nice recipes).
Since I love fashion, I thought I would help MT brides to be with some great ideas in wedding wear.
There’s no better theme for a weddin than camo. It’s sophisticated, pretty, and reminds y’all of those hunting trips for possum in the springtime.
You can highlight the camo with hunter orange for that special “pop” of color, and this also ensures your bridesmaids won’t get shot in the woods if you decide to go outdoorsy with yer weddin. I would leave the pearls at home, though. They are prissy. Who do these b*tches think they are?
For the baby daddys, they make real fancy camo suits. You may not want to go all out and get the jacket–that seems real formal. That may be for an evening wedding. You could just do the hunter orange vests with the camo pants and call it a day.
See how it all comes together below? It’s a real pretty setup, although lil Jimbo didn’t smile for the cameras.
A darkhorse contender is to go real patriotic for yer hitchin. You can go either confederate or ‘Merica. Yer choice.
And finally, my recommendation for some sass under yer dress, you can’t forget the garter belt.
Folks, I been doin my ree-search here at methtrailer.com and wanted to bring you a public service. I know some folks been usin different words and terminology and such as cute nicknames for meth, but I have compiled a list thanks to my friends at KCI (the pro-meth site) and they have helped with a full list of names for meth.
Please identify your proper regional terminology (or pick yer favorite!).
I personally like the following:
Please make sure you use one of these terms.
Have you ever been searching for a cell phone that makes it easy to smuggle, but doesn’t take up too much room in your butt?
Then I gots the PERFECT phone for you, based on this great review from the Cell Phone Family Plans blog. I was thinkin a spell about my last post for that ho that put her meth in her ladyparts, and thought that maybe she could store other things. Like a phone. Crazy enough, there’s a blog that gives you the “top ten phones that will fit up your butt”.
So what’s the #1 phone for your butt? The Samsung Juke U470 is apparently great for your butt (although cnet doesn’t mention that feature). It vibrates, too.