Folks,  Just like fine malt liquor, meth needs to be enjoyed in moderation.  Nothing ruins a weekend like a tweaker-freaker getting stupid.  The feller in this tape had a bit too much, and I think we’d all be better off if he’da put down the pipe a coupla hits sooner.

So I was gettin the trailer ready for the summer and asked myself “where should I go?”  Then I seen this poster and all my questions was answered.  I notice it says to wear your best trailer park attire.  Well what the hell else would you wear???  Only bad thing is this particular soiree is in Canada, so we gotsta git through customs…..

y’all,

this one brings back meth-filled memories from the summer of 1998, which just happens to be the last time i remember getting sleep. all i can say is that these dogs are freakin meth-hounds!

- dell

hey ya’ll -

i’ve been up for 342 hours, i love my meth. i just got wifey, internet connection at the meth trailer. it’s pretty sweet. and i figured i’d show some good ole american patriotism since president bush just killed that sumbeech Oksama bin Laden. team america rulz!

by the way, Sterling Cooper, it was fun doing quarters at your trailer last night!

- dell

It turns out that Christianity and Meth have a lot in common.  They both take up a lot of time and money… but I think I’ve found a new connection.

Sometimes people come up to me and ask me… “Cooter – how can I sell more meth”.  Well… My meth is so good, it practically sells itself (none of that single bottle crank bs)…  but then I had a lightbulb moment (not a cfl moment) – cross pollination.  In order to spread the word – you should try and find new markets, like those who spread the good word.  Here’s a nice photo of such an example – I’m guessing someone introduced their sunday school to meth – and they liked it so much, its now part of their bible camp in the summer.

Moral:
Imagine how much god would love you is you were actually able to praise him all 24 hours in the day!

There, my friends, is a how you make it to the meth big-time (please disregard the irony of the dead end sign).

You’re welcome.

dang y’all, i just heard on my scanner some bad news. now, first, if you don’t have a scanner, go get you one because the man is always just around the corner, and tryin to get ya. that’s one reason i never sleep (the second being meth).

what was i talkin bout, wendy jo? oh yep, bad news. the cops just told on their scanner that they are updating their profiling tips for heavy meth users. so, if you are wearing anything with rutgers university, be on the lookout, because the cops are on to you and your methin’ ways.

now, i guess there’s some new drug on the market, or something, cause they kept saying that all the Rutgers kids musta been doing meth to spend $32,000 on snookie. heck, i thought pot was a gateway drug, who knew that meth was a gateway drug. and, man, how come i ain’t never snorted up some snookie myself?

i’ll bet snookie gets you so high you’re just plain ole stupid.